;

I stand at the brunt of the whole of suburbia,
and in front of me, lined in identical rows, are perfect little boxes
perfect little houses
with two windows, and a chimney, and a front lawn, and a little dog that sometimes poops in the house
and all i want to do is reach down and grab a house
and pluck the little kid inside, and pick her up, and hold her in my hand
and look at her and say
“You.”
“I picked you,” I would tell her. “I didn’t pick your neighbor, or your best friend, or your cousin. It’s you.”
And in that exact moment, she would matter. she would matter more than anyone else, because i gave her that satisfaction of being special.
and what made her special?
nothing.
except the fact that in her perfect little house
with the perfect windows and perfect chimney and perfect lawn and perfect dog,
she was there
and i picked her.

and once she was picked, it would become clear why
and i would watch her grow up
and she would come to me for help, and ask me “why”
over and over and over again, she would ask me “why”
and it wouldn’t be enough that i picked her
because she didn’t do anything to deserve it.
she didn’t do anything to work for it.

“well, work for it,” i will tell her.
“prove it to me.”

when really, she’s already proven it. because there is nothing to prove.
but that will give her drive
and give her purpose
and her little pigtails will bounce behind her as she tries to “prove herself”
and makes it known that yes, this act of fate was just a random act
but that she does deserve it
and she will not squander her opportunity
and that she was picked for a reason, for a purpose —
but what?

“why?” she’ll ask,
over and over and over again, she would ask me “why”
even as she ages, even as she starts her own family and moves into her own box
“why me? why did you pick me? why that house?”

what reasons exist to tell her, i ask myself. there are none.

“i just stood at the brunt of suburbia,
reached down,
and there you were.”

“you weren’t ready then, but you’re ready now,”
i’ll tell her one day.

and i’ll explain
how she has proven herself
and how she is deserving
of her title
that means nothing